I should have known he was too good to be true ...

June 5, 2015:
The day I found out about Grayson.

We knew something was wrong. At Christmas 2014, when he was 9 months old, my cousin said he couldn't sit up unassisted. I sat him up and he did okay until he moved his head forward and that's the direction his body went. He had (has) a HUGE head so we kind of just laughed it off. He was the chillest baby ever ... which should have been the warning that something was wrong because while I love my cousin to the moon and back, ain't not way her and her husband have a chill child ... no way.

Four months later and after numerous doctor appointments Grayson had an MRI. His results indicated that the white matter in his brain was not as white as it should be. A quick google search and I read about the potential for developmental disorders. Well, that's okay, it's something we can deal with. After additional blood tests a ray of hope appeared. His delay could be because 1) the child is simply on his own schedule 2) child has structural problems/stroke issues or 3) child has metabolic issues.

SEEEEEE FELICIA ... he's taking his sweet time. Nothing is wrong with him, just leave him be. Since the day he was born I knew this kid was special. And the day I met him he stole my heart so there's not fucking was anything is wrong with this perfect creature.

In the midst of all this we were planning a family trip to Galveston. It's become an annual tradition especially since we only get to see the Kemps a few times a year. I had been talking with Felicia about activities we'd be doing while there. So when she texted me and asked if I'd be home later to chat, I thought nothing of it. I figured she wanted to talk about the vacation. Instead of a phone call I got a text. And that may seem a little cold but honestly, I couldn't have handled the phone call.

When I read the words Tay-Sachs my heart shattered. I ran to my room to cry in my bed but I didn't make it. I hit the floor and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and screamed and sobbed and screamed and sobbed.

The next day I told my Mom. It took a long time. She knew something was up but let me take my time. She didn't react the same way I did but my connection the my cousins children is deep. I doubt I'll ever have any of my own so I give all my love to them.